8PM: Ladies´table
Waiter: Good evening, ladies! What may I bring you?
Lady 1: Oh, a glas of Champagne, please.
Lady 2: No, thanks. We are still waiting for the others.
Lady 1: So, no Champagne then...
Waiter: (walks away)
8.03 PM Gentlemen´s table
Waiter: Cheers.
Man 1: Cheers.
Waiter: And?
Man 1: Ten beer.
Waiter: (brings the beer)
Man 1: How much?
Waiter: 18.
Man 1: (gives him 20) Keep the change.
Waiter: Thanks.
8.10 PM Ladies´ table
Waiter: Have the ladies already found something?
Lady 3: Do you have any Coke Light?
Waiter: No.
Lady 3: Why not?
Waiter: I don´t know. I am only the waiter.
Lady 3: Then I´d like a sparkling apple juice, but only with a little apple juice.
Lady 1: Oh, I´d like that, too, but you can put in more juice for me.
Waiter: Of course.
Lady 5 to Lady 2-4 and 9: Would you like Champagne, too?
Lady 9: Yes.
Lady 2: Yes.
Lady 4: No, I have got a migraine.
Lady 1: Then I´d like an orange juice instead.
Lady 9: Oh, yes! I´d like an orange juice, too, then.
Lady 4: No, I´ll take a still mineral water.
Waiter: I´m afraid, we don´t have any.
Lady 4: Why not?
Waiter: I have no idea. I´m only the waiter.
Lady 4: Well, ok. Then I´ll have Champagne with orange juice..
Lady 5: Then we´d like a whole bottle..
Waiter: Shall I bring you a little bottle of orange juice then?
Lady 5: Why?
Waiter: Because we don´t have bottles with a mixture of Champagne and orange juice.
Lady 5: Well, then forget about the orange juice.
Lady 9: Then I´d like some mineral water with it.
Lady 10: Me too.
Lady 7: Well, me too then? You really don´t have any still mineral water?
Waiter: No, only still Champagne. The technical term for that is “white wine“.
Lady 1-10: ???????
Waiter: (thinks: I didn´t expect them to get that...) And for the other ladies?
Lady 3: A Gin-Tonic, please.
Lady 6: A Vodka-Lemon.
Lady 8: A Coke light.
Waiter: I´m sorry, but we don´t have a Coke light.
Lady 8: Why not?
Waiter: I DON`T KNOW! I`M JUST THE WAITER!.
Lady 8: Then I´d like a shandy with only a little beer, please.
Waiter: (leaves and tries to remember all that crap)
8.18 PM Gentlemen´s table
Man 3: (shouts through the room) Get us another round!
Waiter: Right! (goes, gets 10 beer, puts them on the table without losing a word, while
Man 3 puts 20,- on the waiter´s tray)
8:25 PM Ladies´ table
Waiter: (brings the drinks) Sooo ladies, for whom was the shandy?
Lady 1-10: chatter, chatter, chatter...
Waiter: WHO ORDERED THE SHANDY?
Lady 1-10: ?????? (Astonished that there is a man with a tray who is looking at the group of ladies...).
Waiter: THE SHANDY!.
Lady 7: Petra, didn´t you have a shandy?
Lady 8: Oh yes, my shandy, hihihi!
Waiter: (puts the shandy and the other drinks on the table and thinks: they should distribute the stuff themselves).
Lady 3: And where is my Cola light?
Waiter: (inhales and exhales deeply) We don´t have that AND I DON`T KNOW WHY!
Lady 3: Then I´d like...
Waiter: You have already ordered something and it is already here.
Lady 3: Oh.
Lady 8: How much is that then?
Waiter: Do you pay everything or seperately?
Lady 8: Only the shandy.
Waiter: That´s 1,80, please. (The woman rummages around in her handbag for her wallet and gives the waiter 2.-.
The waiter gives her 20 cents change, whereupon the woman searches for a 10 cent coin in order to give him a tip. )
Waiter: So, the rest of you?
Lady5: I pay for half of the Champagne, a mineral water and a Gin Tonic.
Lady2: Why for the half? It´s three of us who are drinking Champagne!
Lady5: Oh yes. That´s true. Then I´ll pay two thirds of the bottle, a mineral water and a Vodka Lemon.
Lady2: Then I´m going to pay for the remaining third.
Waiter: (is calculating strenuously and tries to remain calm) Then that´s 7,63 for you and for you it is 4.33.
Lady 2: Why do you have such strange prices? That´s absolutely not practical.
Waiter: That is natural for only a thir of 13,-.
Normally a drink is not shared by 3 people.
Die restlichen Damen zahlen in ähnlicher Weise Ihre GetränkeThe other ladies pay their drinks in a similar way, but they make the waiter give them the change and sporadically give him a tip of 2 Cent. In the end the total tip is 45 Cent.
8.25 PM Gent´s table
Man 4: Get us 10 beer, 10 brandy and what you´d like to drink.
Waiter: (nodds and gets the drinks) After a short while he puts down the drinks.
With the eleventh glass of brandy he clinks glasses with the men.
Man 4: How much is that?
Waiter: 45,50
Man 4: (Hands him a 50.- note) Give me 3 .- for change.
Waiter: (gives him 3,-) Thanks.
The evening continues the same way until dawn.
At the Gents´ table 10 rounds of beer and 5 rounds of brandy go down the throats.
The enumeration of what is drunk at the ladies´ table is cancelled for two reasons:
1. It would go beyond the scope of this website.
2. The author of this website would get a headache from writing.
